Sunsets & Unmentionables

August 28, 2018

I didn’t really see a sunset in the dip last week, but that’s where I was when roaming thoughts of the gloaming came up. Lately, zipping around the internet, there have been these absolutely stunning photos of sunsets in Hawai’i. They’re gorgeous—probably a combination of the Big Island’s continuing volcanic cloud and the then-advancing Hurricane Lane.

Speaking of sunsets, several years ago I watched a real fiery one together with the ‘Person-In-Life-Closest-To-Me’ (PILCTM), and one of my daughters. We lingered on and were enjoying the post-sunset on our lanai; just the three of us sitting and taking pleasure in each other’s company, while gazing out at a totally unremarkable sight; unremarkable, because the sun was gone and it was too dark to see anything.

Anyway—and I can’t tell you how the subject came up—but we got talking about department store special sales. Now you have to know that my PILCTM is hands down, far-and-away the world champion bargain-finder. I cannot even begin to calculate how much money she has saved our family over the years through her astute and timely purchases. Maybe millions.

Well, she told us about a sale that was on at the local high-end Lacy’s store, and somehow we got onto the topic of certain women’s undergarments (in this case, upper body support); which of course was once-upon-a-time, unmentionable in polite circles. In case I lost you there, the garment in question rhymes with ’fa,’as in Do-Re-Mi-Fa.

Still in the dark? I’ll be blunt and give it to you straight with the pidgin-English greeting used when two Hawai’ian guys meet up: “Eh Brah!” (Translation: “Hey Brother!”)

Are we all on the same page now?

Back to the story . . . my PILCTM happened to disclose that the above-mentioned item of innerwear, had just gone on sale at Lacy’s. And not only that . . .

Two for the price of one!

I cannot quite explain, nor can I even begin to describe with accuracy, what happened next. Just to say that my daughter and I simultaneously, collapsed into uncontrollable, tears-pouring-down-our-faces, giggling hysteria. Birds of a feather, I guess.

Two for the price of one!

I guess you had to be there. It was something right out of Gary Larson’s, “The Far Side.” (Don’t we miss Gary’s daily loopyness?)

Till next time,

P. Michael Jordan



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